Remembering Tony Gwynn - Five Exclamation Marks Great! Five rules for communication.

Many baseball fans were puzzled that there was no tribute to Tony Gwynn at this year's All-Star game following the Hall-of-Famer's death a few weeks earlier. Personally, my first instinct was to write about the impact he had here locally, but as a New England native living in San Diego, who was I to tell anybody what they already knew from observing Tony the past thirty years - that he was undoubtedly one of the greatest hitters of all time, but more than that, he was widely believed to be a better person than hitter. This became clear as the tributes rolled in - this was the story. So now, with the World Series upon us and another baseball season about to dissipate into the crisp fall air, I think it's a good time to remember Tony for what certainly was one of his greatest gifts, his uncanny ability to connect with people. I think anyone who ever met the guy came away with the same good feeling and I think there's a lot we can learn from him about the way we relate and communicate with others.

As MLB.Com reporter Todd Zolecki so perfectly summarized back in July, “It seemed everybody remotely connected to baseball shared their Gwynn story [during the weeks following his death].”  “Mr. Padre” was widely popular, incredibly friendly and famously kind.  Everybody seemed to love the man, who spent his entire Hall of Fame career with San Diego.” It's so true about those Tony stories too.  Not only from those in baseball circles, but if there are a million people in San Diego, it seems there are a million stories about Tony’s generosity with his time, attention and resources.  He might have been a superstar on the field, but off it, he was an every man’s man, never aloof, never too important to give his utmost attention to everyone he came in contact with. I have my story too.

I only had the pleasure of meeting Tony once, at an autograph signing at the grand opening of Petco Park a few years after his playing days were over – it was a fundraiser of course – I think for his SDSU baseball program.  There was a huge line and when it was my turn, I joked with him that he had something in common with a friend of mine who had just “retired” from his baseball career as well, albeit as a rec player in a Boston adult league.  I asked Tony if he could inscribe the ball “Ain’t retirement great!” so he took the ball, looked down at it for a moment, then looked up and chuckled his famous chuckle, making himself laugh about the idea of retirement for him. Like Jim Mora ranting about the absurd idea of making the NFL playoffs – “Playoffs?”  Tony snapped in a good way “Retirement? Retirement?” and spent what seemed like the next five minutes talking about how his retirement was equally absurd in the traditional sense of the word.  He was busier than ever coaching State, doing TV work for the Padres and networks, being a family man, one thing stacked on top of another...and yes, it was all good-natured and he was laughing all the way through the harangue. “Yeah, tell your buddy to enjoy his retirement for me.” He then looked back down as his big laugh settled down, wrote out exactly what I asked – “Ain’t retirement great” – and then he started writing down exclamation marks, first one, then two and three, then he stared at it another moment and quickly added two more – five neatly aligned exclamation points!!!!!

In a way, this little snippet, one of those million stories, reflects the message in all those tributes – that this was just Tony being Tony. In the end, the love and respect he earned wasn’t so much about all those hits, but more about how he made people feel, how he could laugh at himself and how he was so comfortable in the moment, gracefully attending to detail and willing to go the extra mile. In his own words, “All you can do it try to do the right thing and that’s basically what I’ve tried to do.” As life advice goes, that’s a pretty big one so I just want to focus on what those few minutes in the middle of a very long day demonstrate about Tony and what we can learn to better ourselves.

1. Be your authentic self! Keep it real and don’t try to be someone or something you are not, people will see right through it. Tony was never afraid to let his personality shine through. He didn't hold back.
2. Honor the present moment! It seems like we’re too easily distracted these days and don’t pay attention to what is right in front of us. Do we dismiss people too easily because we’re busy worrying about the next thing we need to do or the last thing we just did? In this scenario Tony didn't give us the bum's rush but let the exchange happen organically which allowed him to make his mark on the moment, literally. We shouldn't preordain how any interaction should go so a little patience and an open mind might make for a better result.
3. Be aware of how you make people feel! Whether we like it or not, in every interaction, there are two parties that want something, but we often think it’s a one way transaction. It doesn’t mean every mundane business conversation has to be a lovefest, but it is important to know there is an expectation of something on the other side and while it may not be important to you, your actions dictate what people think of you.  It’s never one sided and I feel confident saying Tony Gwynn understood this on some level because it appears he never tired of giving in this context. I suppose you could also say that if you give respect, you get respect. When our time comes to check out, what will people talk about? That Y2K project you managed with an iron fist, or about what it was really like to be around you?  Something to think about.
4. Don't mail it in! There's no escaping mundane tasks and this is how life often passes us by because we mentally check out. I find this funny because on the one hand, humans love their routines, but if you take a close look at the people you pass each day, it might look like a casting call for "The Walking Dead." Zombies everywhere! When we met Tony that day, he was not patronizing to anybody at the event.  He was working hard being himself and making the most of his job for the day. He was known for his work ethic and attention to detail so I'm going to go out on a limb and say he never mailed it in.  
5. You never really retire!  Yes, you can retire from a job but you can’t retire from being you!  That is, you have talents, skills and influence you can use in positive ways every day of your life to help make a difference in other people’s lives.  Don’t retire per se, evolve! Tony didn’t seek the limelight but he also didn’t shy away from being a public figure and giving back with verve. We should all be like Tony.

So there you have it, five exclamation marks of greatness, five tips from Tony Gwynn on how to better communicate and connect with people. In an age when we all seem to be very worried about the image we project, Tony was the real deal, genuine in his actions and intent.  Tony Gwynn had personal brand!  This is why he was different. This is why his loss is palpable here in San Diego and beyond.

Jim Tosches ia an amateur umpire, and blogger in Encinitas, CA. He wrote the book "The Rules Abide: The Thinking Fan's Guide to Baseball Rules (With History, Humor and a Few Big Words)."  

You can sample and purchase Jim's book along with 9 other great baseball books for under two bucks by clicking on www.TheBaseBallReader.com

MLB playoff format a bust or boon for Miss Congeniality?

I've been too busy this summer to blog much, but I certainly have enjoyed the baseball action right down to the final day’s no-hitter.  For most people, the love of the game has many layers and for me, it starts with the simple play on the field as I enjoy any baseball game, regardless of the context.  As we prep for the playoffs however and I stepped back to take a look at the MLB big picture, it’s my opinion that the playoff format, now in its second year, is NOT working - these “pennant” races s-t-i-n-k, STINK!  In 2013 and 2014, in only four out of twelve division races did the second place team finish within five games of the top.  Not only that, but the other eight second-place teams averaged a whopping 9.5 games behind!  As a result, an almost silly amount of everyone’s attention turns towards the watered down “wild card” races involving just a couple of teams competing in a virtual standing across divisions.   I mean, Miss Congeniality might be pretty and all that, but does she have to be the center of attention? 

I have to say that it feels like a bit of a bait and switch by MLB - on the one hand we were promised more excitement down the stretch as more teams remained in contention for the post season, but the result has been almost the opposite.  I have to confess I don’t have the answer as there’s a lot of number crunching to be done to consider the optimum number of teams in each division and the balance of the schedule, but I have to think baseball has some guys in high paying jobs to figure this out.  I’m not sure how long it will stay like this, but since inter-league play has chipped away at each circuit’s identity, perhaps it’s time for a total league and division realignment.  This will rankle traditionalists, but I argue they should be rankled by what we have now.

Additionally, these single elimination wild-card games are an attempt by MLB to have their cake and eat it too.  Sure, the plan was to sell you the idea of more playoff teams, but since the season is widely considered to be too long, there’s no time for a proper playoff.  In my opinion, the one-gamer is a gyp!  In a way, a one-game elimination is as unnatural to baseball as a shoot-out is to hockey or placing the ball the twenty yard line in football.  Let me explain - traditionally, the measure of the best baseball players and teams is how they perform over time. The best hitters can go 0-5 any night and the best teams can put up a stinker, but over the marathon season, the cream rises to the top.  Come playoff time, while there have been examples of teams falling flat in an entire series, it will generally showcase team strength v. team strength.  One crew of starters or relievers may tip the scales or another team’s power or speed might make the difference, or it could be something else - eventually one team's biggest weakness rears its...what?  Ugly head?  Leave it up to one game and these team-strengths or personalities, if you will, won’t necessarily show up.  In my opinion, it makes for a lesser product in the end.  This means the team that wins might not really be the better team which you might say belies the beauty of sport, but again, I’m making the argument here that baseball is different than other sports – it’s not about one game.

That said, in the past, the one-gamer has been reserved for the final face-off between division rivals who ended the marathon season tied, and that is a different story.   Those elimination games act essentially as the final game of a fifteen to twenty game series and don’t seem as random as two cross division teams rolling the dice for one game.  Heck, you could even say those games are unnecessary because if a team has played a division rival 19 times – an odd number – why isn’t the season’s head-to-head results not the tiebreaker?  (and I could have been spared the whole Bucky Dent thing as the Yanks took the season series 8-7 in 1978 over my Red Sox).  Ok, I take that back.  We're better off with those one gamers - I know, I know, there’s a lot to do with business and commerce and players unions and TV ratings and such…I get it.  I just don’t like one game playoffs in case I didn't mention it.

Jim Tosches is an amateur umpire and blogger in Encinitas, Ca and author of the book, "The Rules Abide: The Thinking Fan's Guide to Baseball Rules (With History, Humor and a Few Big Words)"

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No Scoop for Yu! Is a No-No Greatness or Just a Statistical Oddity?

I tuned into Friday night's Rangers-Red Sox game just as the Ranger's Yu Darvish took a no hitter into the ninth.  After two quick outs, David Ortiz stepped into the box and as a Sox fan, I thought if anyone could break it up, it would be Big Papi. Right on cue, Ortiz pulled a hard grounder that just managed to beat the Big Papi shift that has the shortstop playing behind second base and the second baseman in short right field. This heart breaker was the proverbial "ground ball with eyes" that squirted through just a few feet to the right on your screen of Elvis Andrus and a few feet to the left of Rougned Odor (not a typo) who couldn't scoop it up albeit a nice diving effort. - Click HERE to see it. - My first thought was "wow, how random is it that this routine ball just

The First Instant Replay Walk-off - It's Got Positraction!

It was just a matter of time before the first game-ending play was reversed using instant replay...I mean, the first play that was reversed that became the walk-off, game-ending play...after everybody already walked off, after the play had ended, you know, after the review of the ending play. Please wait a minute while we sort this out...

Glove is All Around -The Anatomy of a Catch!

Ah springtime, “when everything else begins again” as past commissioner of baseball A. Bart Giamatti once said referring to the cycle of life which promises “sunshine and high skies”…and of course, baseball!  This is a spring unlike any because of the experiment of instant replay and several new controversial rule changes so as the baseball season blossoms, I think it’s time you and I have a little sit-down about the birds and the bees to better understand the anatomy and how certain things work.  Today we’re going to look at the catch and transfer that has hearts pounding like a teenage crush…

Pirates-Brewers hurt each other's feelings...benches clear! Divas and DEVO

If you didn’t see a clip of the baseball “brawl” yesterday in Pittsburgh, here’s what you missed - in the top of the third, Milwaukee’s Carlos Gomez hit a deep fly to center field that he thought was a dinger so he went into a slow home run trot, a la Domingo Ayala, and hurt pitcher Gerrit Cole’s feelings because in fact, the ball didn’t leave the yard. After Gomez reached third on his inside-the-park triple, Cole ran towards, but not too close to Gomez, shouting mean words in his general direction like an insulting Frenchman which in turn, hurt his feelings as well. This visibly upset many of the other players and coaches who trotted on to the field somewhat rapidly to air their grievances but this only lead to pushing and shoving and an all-out scuffle. Eventually, some players wrestled on the grass and got stains on their bunched-up trousers. Oh yeah, and then the Brewers went on to win an otherwise great game, 3-2 in 14 innings.

Pine Tar Redux - Not For Nothin', Lets Take a Look Back...

It's quite clear in our big-screen, high-def world that Yankee pitcher Michael Pineda was using pine tar on his pitching hand last Thursday night versus the Red Sox in Yankee Stadium.  Before the reaction on social media could crash the internet or you could hire Matt Taibbe to do an investigative piece, Boston manager John Farrell was silent on the issue immediately after the game while slugger David Ortiz had this to say, "everybody uses pine tar, it's no big deal."  If your first instinct is to call Oliver Stone so somebody can get to the bottom of this cover-up, let me ask you a question. Pineda was obviously breaking the rules, but was he really cheating? I'll answer that somewhat circuitously by going to the way-back machine and taking a look at the only pine tar controversy that matters, the 1983 George Brett incident.  Work with me here...

Aaron's #715 - To The Moon!

This week marked the 40^th anniversary of Hank Aaron’s record setting 715^th home run.  To a kid growing up in the 70’s, this event was as big it got, “The Thrilla in Manilla”, Evel Knievel jumping Snake Canyon, Bobby Riggs and Billy Jean King’s “Battle of the Sexes” throw down all rolled into one gigantic super-hyped inevitability. How big? I was 13 at the time and remember being in the car with my parents and hearing the call on the car radio…I remember it was a Monday night.  We usually only use tragedies to mark those handful of times in life when we remember exactly where we were when something historic happened, but this one was different, transcendent in ways a 13 year old simply couldn’t grasp. Growing up in Massachusetts, I wasn’t completely oblivious to race issues – the Boston busing crisis was in our consciousness – but again, I was just a 13 year old fan so for me, number 715 was just a

Crash Course - "Slide or Avoid" Adopted in Bigs

With all the attention on instant replay this spring, another significant rule change is in effect involving plays at the plate which now makes it illegal for a runner to intentionally crash into a catcher to knock the ball loose; the play that put the “hard" in "hardball."  Rule changes, like no-more-fakes-to-third which was adopted last year, usually start at the big league level and trickle down, but this is a rare case of the big leagues adopting a rule that’s long been in place in the amateur leagues for safety’s sake. 

The First "Bad" Call Overturned - A Deal is a Deal!

In an earlier post this spring, I predicted that the expanded use of instant replay will show just how accurate major league umpires are.  MLB's own analysis of last season seems to support this as there were 377 wrong calls in 2,431 games, or about 1 every 6.4 games - not bad if you ask me.  I also promised that when the first call was overturned, there would be a logical explanation and that I would write about it, so a deal is a deal...

Opening Day - What does it mean to you? Is baseball still our national pastime?

“The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again…”  A. Bart Giamatti

Opening day of the major league baseball season is unlike any other. I’m not going to get all schmoopy on you, but if you’re a baseball fan, you know what that means. Sure, everyone is tied for first place and this could be the year, but beyond that, your oldest best buddy is back in town for six months and just like that, everybody is young, good looking and flush with cash - "déjà vu all over again," only new. I’ve made the brief argument before that baseball is still going strong as our national pastime – “in all its forms it tickles each of the sense…seeping into our lore and leisure” - but you could write an entire book exploring that argument. Baseball is an old game, but it seems to find new ways to get under our skin. Let’s take a quick look at baseball in modern times.

Umpire drilled by line drive, what they didn't tell you.

It might have been St. Patrick's Day but MLB umpire Brad Myers was anything but lucky on Monday when he couldn't avoid a line drive off the bat of The Reds Brandon Phillips during a spring training game. The painful-to-watch video, currently making the rounds, shows Myers was in a dangerous position with a right handed batter up so let me explain a few things that were left out of most national reports of the mishap.